Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
