Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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