I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
