Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
there is puke in my bra ... again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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