then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
