So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
