Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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