Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize