Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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