would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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