Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
