went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
