Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
