How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
