It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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