hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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