So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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