I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
