Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
