Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
