Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
