And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
