so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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