My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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