He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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