I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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