i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
