Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
