I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
