OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
