Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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