what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
