i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
