So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
