I just saw a hot homeless man
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
