By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she looked like the before picture.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
