I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
