i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
