Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
