It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
