i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
