I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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