We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
