So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
