The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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