pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
