it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
