im having a threesome with these popsicles
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
