im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
