You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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