I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it glows. i had to have it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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