I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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