worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was CRYING into my vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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