i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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