bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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