We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we're making bets on your personal life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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