I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
