I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
