1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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