therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
